You would've never guessed
by Udyjay
Summary: This story has no plot. Hao and Lyserg are complete opposites, yet they manage to be very close, and very much a couple. Watch the two in their daily lives as a pair, going through each others' retardation and those around them. High school fic.
1. Chapter 1

**LYSERG P.O.V.**

I was that kid who did his homework and loved every class. I got up and rushed to my next class as soon as the bell rang and showed up with minutes to spare. I stayed after school with my teachers if I didn't understand something. If I caught someone stealing, I told the teacher. Yes, I was that asshole you knew.

I'm Lyserg Diethel.

It's boring. It's _so_ boring. The only class that I actually really hate and there has to be a lock down. I'm lucky, y' know?

Don't worry, it's just a drill. There isn't someone in the school with an AK47 or anything like that.

We're stuck in the class, no one allowed in, no one allowed out—we didn't even get to change classes… I'm stuck in gym. Of all the damn classes. One good thing about it, is our coach said we didn't have to continue playing football. The bad thing… he decided to start on the next unit. Which includes him talking and going ON about golf, while we sit and listen. GOLF. You feel my pain.

We sat on the gym floor in squads, which went by last names. Pressing my knees to my chest, I looked around the gym at all the other people.

Hate Jonathan. Sharon's _really_ annoying. Mike is always talking about how everyone should become a vegetarian.

Then there's him. _That _guy. He's an asshole. He bullies people around, hangs out with a bad crew and he's the _leader_. He gets kicked out of most classes, and if not, he's skipping. He owns a table at lunch, the principal knows him on a "How's your mom?" basis. He just _doesn't give a fuck_. He's loved and hated, feared and admired. People want to be like him. People want to take him down. He's just _that_ kind of guy.

There's a rumor he started a fire at his last school nearly burning it down; and got away with it. Crazy thing is? It's true. Wanna know how I know? He told me.

He suddenly turned to me when the coach walked away from his squad, and caught my eyes. I smiled; he smiled back.

His name is Hao Asakura. And he's my boyfriend.

A/N: WOW LOL. So this is my second fic on , first of Shaman King. I'll tell you guys now; I have no idea where I'm going with this. I was convinced by my cousin to continue it, so that will eventually happen. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it so far! More coming soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**LYSERG P.O.V.**

"What the fuck is this? Madonna?"

He was being an asshole again. Me and Hao were at McDonalds, sitting at a small table near the window. We could barely fit our legs underneath it, it actually started to irritate me. And so did Hao. He stole my iPod when I went to turn it off, and I haven't heard the end of it ever since he started looking at the artists.

"Madonna isn't just for girls, if that's what you were going to say. She made good music."

"Ahaha, please, I don't wanna hear it. You have Madonna in here."

I sighed in defeat, kicking him not-so-hard underneath the table and he laughed, scrolling down the list.

"So if Madonna is so terrible, what kind of music do _you_ listen to, hm?" Reaching over the short distance of the table, I took one of his chicken nuggets and popped it into my mouth. I watched him for a moment while he mentally made fun of another artist in my iPod. I could tell he was shunning it because of the amused look on his face, before he shook his head and turned off my iPod.

"Well?" I asked.

"Reggae." He said.

"Whaaaat? Really?"

"Yep. See for yourself." Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his iPod and handed it to me.

Yep. Reggae. I played a random song and it happened to be just that, but I continued looking anyways. There were a couple of random songs, until I stopped on a song by Whitney Houston.

"Okay, whoa. If you're allowed to have Whitney Houston, I'm allowed to have Madonna."

"What? First off, it's only one song—unlike you, who has several, and it's only because the rhythm is alright."

"Whatever Hao, you have fucking Whitney. She sings the girliest songs."

"I love when you curse, it reminds me of how much I've corrupted you." He said with a wide smile on his face, his chin resting on the back of his hand.

My face scrunched up at that last comment and I looked down and away, trying to hide the blush that came to my face.

"Okay. And you have Evanescence, too. I think we can both come to the conclusion that—"

"Both of our tastes in music are completely different." He finished the sentence for me.

"Precisely. And don't ever finish my sentence for me again, it's creepy." I stood up, taking our tray to the garbage and letting it fall in. Turning around, Hao was right behind me with an expecting grin on his face.

"Uh, yes?" I asked, he was really close and didn't really give me room to move. I put my hand on his chest and tried to push him away, but it didn't work. I pouted, and looked up at him.

"I want my kiss." He said.

"Your kiss? You say it like I owe you," A small smile came on and I tried to make it go away, cause that would be giving in to him. He makes me smile for the stupidest things. I'm so lame.

"You do owe me, for that kick under the table earlier. Think I wouldn't remember?"

He leaned in and I closed my eyes, already failing to deny him. He's irresistible, don't judge me.

I felt his lips press against mine and I kissed back, my face feeling hot. I don't know if it's just me. If I'm such a loser and such a newbie at relationships, that I feel so… free and special when he even looks at me. I can't tell if I'm just enjoying someone give me any attention at all, or if it's really… how he makes me feel. He makes me feel like I'm more than amazing.

Shut the hell up. It's my party and I can cheese about my feelings if I want to.

When Hao pulled away I felt my lips tingling and my heart fluttering. To try to play it like I was all cool about it, I made fun of it somehow.

"Only you would make a McDonalds garbage can romantic." I said sarcastically, and he just nodded, taking my hand. I think we got a couple of stares, glares and 'aww's from the workers behind the counter. Hehe.

"It's only romantic if you think it is," He said as we headed for the door.

Ugh, he always gets me.

a/n: oh btw, the characters aren't mine. just the cracktastic plot. hope you guys liked iiit... *awkwardly waddles away*


	3. Chapter 3

**LYSERG P.O.V.**

We were walking home, and I guess Hao decided it would be funny to trip me. Well, fuck him. Because it was a little funny.

"Ah!" Hao stuck his foot out in front of my ankle and I fell right forward, but thank god he was holding my arm—only to let me get closer to the ground before dropping me.

"What the hell, dick!" I whined, standing up and dusting off my pants. He was laughing his ass off, turned slightly and holding his stomach.

"What kind of crap is that, huh? You're not supposed to LET me fall. Jeez!"

I heard him trying to muffle his laughter as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I-I'm sorry, Daajii, you're just… so easy to get."

"Get off me, jerk! Daa—who? What did you just call me? Get off." I pouted like there was no tomorrow, and I was pushing his face away trying to get away from his mean… meanness. I'm creative. Shh.

When I managed to get myself away from him, I walked at a faster pace as if I were mad—don't get me wrong, I was pissed, but… I totally already forgave him. He just doesn't know that.

"Lyserg, come on. You've gotten kicked harder. Come here, brat." He jogged a couple of steps to catch up and he pulled me into a hug, my back pressing against his chest. My arms were crossed and I pulled forward a little, showing him just how angry I was. He didn't know I was smiling.

"Forgive me, okay?"

"Hmph."

"I'll make you forgive me."

"You can't MAKE someone forgive you, Hao, it doesn't work that wa—Aaay!" His fingers went into tickle mode, running quickly over my sides and stomach.

"Sto-hop! Nno! Qui-hit iiit!" I was giggling out my ass, trying to curl inward and prevent him from getting my ticklish spots. It seriously wasn't working.

"Do you forgive me?" He asked. I could HEAR the smugness in his voice, his hands still tickling me, reaching my neck as I spazzed. I'm sure it was funny to watch.

"Y-yes! Okay! Okay, I forgive you!"

He let me go and I stumbled forward as he laughed at me, for the billionth time that day. A moment passed, and as I straightened my clothes out, we continued walking as if nothing happened.

We stopped in front of my house, like in the romance movies, and he gave me a kiss on the forehead.

"I'll call you?" He asked.

"Mhm."

"Alright, see you tomorrow."

He took one step to leave and I reached out for his hand. I wasn't going to be gay and give him another kiss or a hug or something cause I _missed him already_, if that's what you're thinking.

"Wait."

"Huh?" He turned and looked at me, down at my hand, then back up.

"You called me something earlier… it's bothering me. I don't know what it means. Doja. Daja. What was it?" I probably sounded REALLY stupid to him. Trying to say a word or phrase that you can barely remember makes you look dumb. If it were anybody else, I would have forgotten about it and never thought about it. But it was Hao. And I want to know.

He snickered, I rolled my eyes.

"Daajii?" He asked, and swung our hands a little. It was actually a bit of an awkward position, because he was still turned slightly away, and not as close as I'd like him to be.

"Yes, Daajii, that. What does it mean?"

"It means 'pretty', in the Native American language Ojibwe."

He let a few seconds go by before he let go of my hand. I was kinda staring at him but not really, and kinda really blushing, but not _really_.

Hao walked away, added by a blown kiss and a wave.

I shook my head to get rid of that feeling—you know, _that _feeling someone gives you that makes you feel lame and special. He did it again.

a/n: third chapter. i think. lol. i hope you guys are liking this crap, cause... i don't even know. xD


	4. Chapter 4

a/n: SOOOO phone sex ahead. lol. juuust warning you.

**Lyserg P.O.V.**

It was night. I was lying on my bed, phone in hand, talking to you-know-who. Hao. We've been talking for a while now, I had to put my phone to charge; but that didn't slow us down. I just turned the opposite way in my bed so the charger reached, and we continued talking. If you asked what we were talking about, I wouldn't be able to tell you. We talked about nothing, seriously. But somehow our conversations go on and we learn things. We learn the little things about each other that as we get older, we'll learn to hate or love.

At some point I asked him about how he knew the Ojibwe language; he said something about living with a different part of his family for a while, and them speaking the language. I love learning new things about him. That was so cool, and I told him that. But, I was curious as to why he wasn't living with his mom and dad at the time.

"Wait, so, why weren't you living with your parents?" I asked, looking at the fan blowing next to my bed. Yeah, I had a fan on. Not because it was hot, but because I didn't want my foster mom listening to my conversation with Hao. I learned, with time, that she could be very nosy. And even if it didn't matter, I liked my privacy.

Don't worry, she's not a crazy abusive foster mother. She's actually really sweet, and cares for her kids; A little too much sometimes.

The fan was a good way to talk at a normal level without her hearing everything.

_ "Ah, it doesn't matter." _

"Uh, yes it does?" I raised my brow as I sat up, super interested now. I wonder why human beings are so interested in things that others don't want them to know about.

_ "No." _

"Hao, just tell me, I'm not—"

_ "You know, your accent is pretty sexy." _

I sucked my teeth. He's trying to change the subject.

"I don't care, because I know you're trying to change the subject."

_ "Every time we get on the phone, and I listen to your voice," _

"Hao."

_ "it turns me on so much." _

"…Hao," I almost whimpered. He was trying to change the subject and it was working. He sounded so sexy and oh-so-inviting.

_ "Yes babe?" _

Okay. He was doing something with his voice. I don't know what it was. But he sounded breathy. And I liked it.

"Why are you talking like that?" I asked dumbly. I know exactly why he was doing it. I'd just like to hear him say it.

_ "Talking like what?" _

"You know what."

_ "You know __**why**__." _

The fucker.

I heard a small grunt through the phone and I felt my face heat up. I reached down, thanking whatever being lived up there for letting me choose to wear only boxers to bed tonight. Playing with the waist band of my boxers, I listened to him let out a soft pant, and that basically did it for me. I let my hand slide under my boxers and wrapped my hand around my growing erection. I hissed, because my hand was really cold, and it was very, very warm.

I heard a snicker through the phone and I paused. Giving myself a tug, I held the phone with my left hand.

"What?"

_ "What're you doing?" _

"What are **you** doing?" I asked. We always 'argued' like that. Questions answered by questions because we already knew the answers but didn't want to say them. I bit my lip to hold back a moan because I didn't want him to know what I was doing. At least not yet. I'm sure he already knew though.

_"I'm gettin' off to your voice, what do you think?" _My God does he have no shame?

_"Join me."_ NOPE.

Now I was never a beat-around-the-bush kind of guy, and I wasn't going to start today.

I moved to hold the phone between my shoulder and my ear, so my hand could be free. I let my hand run down my chest slowly, my eyes closing.

His voice seemed amplified with my eyes closed and I sighed, letting myself feel his sounds.

"Mm, Hao?"

_"Yes babe?" _

"I'm a virgin…" There was a pause. Then I heard some shuffling. WHY did I have to go and say that? It was relevant and I was curious to what his reaction would be.

_"Really?" _

"Yeah."

I'm not lying. At this time, I was a virgin. Maybe not a phone sex virgin, but a virgin.

I've been hit on by random people before. I've been called 'shorty' in an oddly adoring tone. I've been told I have the 'perfect fuck body'. Now that was scary. But I've never had sex. It scared me and I never actually found someone attractive enough to want to do it with them. Until Hao. My first boyfriend. Am I being generic by wanting to do it with my first boyfriend? Whatever.

_"That's really hot."_ He let out a low moan, I think he might have been close.

"That's not… how the hell is it hot, Hao?" I hastened my pace, the pleasure heating up in my groin. I sighed.

"_Because I'm imagining myself taking you… for the first time…"_ He grunted in between short breaths now, and that turned me on almost as much as what he had just said.

I felt my hips begin to buck into my hand as I neared that feeling—that feeling that makes you blind and stupid. I squeezed my erection, pumping myself faster now. God, I wish he was here with me.

"Hao, I'm so close…"

_"Mm, me too…" _

My breath hitched and I came, spurting over my fist. Letting out soft pants as I slowly eased my jerking, I heard Hao being very vocal with his release—again no shame, but quite cutely if I may.

_ "Yaaay…" _

"I'll pretend I didn't just hear you say yay."


	5. Chapter 5

**REGULAR P.O.V.**

It was after school. Most of the building was empty. The only people that were left were a couple of students making up work with their teachers in various classrooms. Jeanne, on the other hand, was patrolling the hallways. Sometimes students liked to linger in the halls misbehaving; planting traps around the schools for the next day, bullying each other in secluded hallways where no one would find them, etc. It was Jeanne's duty as a student hall monitor to make sure these things weren't happening.

Now, she was only able to do after school monitoring on certain days, because every other day she is doing some other extracurricular activities—student tutoring, Jujitsu lessons, Math Leagues, Violin and Piano lessons, and Muay Thai lessons. But, alas, she found time in her schedule to take hall monitor duties after school, and she was very happy doing it.

Jeanne walked down a particularly long hallway, having just remembered it even existed. This building was old, and classes weren't even held in this part of the school anymore. It was quiet, except the sound of Jeanne twirling the Master key to the school around her delicate fingers. There were two large doors that eventually blocked her path, and she stood in front of it. Pressing her hand against the large handle, she tested to see if it was open—and it was.

Jeanne paused before pushing the door open and thought for a moment. All the doors that kept people out of this part of the building were locked. So why wasn't this one? Someone would have needed a key, and the janitors that keep this section clean only come once a week, and that was on Friday. It was Wednesday.

Deciding to investigate, Jeanne pushed the door open quietly, and stepped through. As soon as she shut the door behind her, she heard an odd noise echo from the staircase. Jeanne tilted her head, leaning forward. It sounded like someone was getting hurt- until a familiar voice uttered a familiar name. She took a few steps forward, peaking down the spiral of stairs.

!$#%^&*&^%$##$%^&*&^%$#!$#%^&*&^%$#$#%^&*^%$#!#$%^&*&%^$#!#$%^&**&^%$

a/n: i know it's short, but... I'm trying to drag it out to give myself more time to write. lol. i also have no idea where the FAWK this is going. :) yay. are people even reading this trash? lol.


	6. Chapter 6

_Deciding to investigate, Jeanne pushed the door open quietly, and stepped through. As soon as she shut the door behind her, she heard an odd noise echo from the staircase. Jeanne tilted her head, leaning forward. It sounded like someone was getting hurt- until a familiar voice uttered a familiar name. She took a few steps forward, peaking down the spiral of stairs. _

"Nnh, yes, H-Hao…"

Jeanne's eyes widened at the sight. Her eyes were not playing tricks on her, no. She _was_ seeing Lyserg getting fucked by Hao against the staircase wall.

Pants pulled halfway down as if they couldn't wait, legs wrapped around a waist, hands roaming—Jeanne was _not_ imagining this.

…Was this against the rules? Sexual harassment? Was anybody getting raped?

"Yeeahh… Fuck m-me, Hao.." Don't think so.

The red eyed girl wracked her brain for any reason to stop them other than being in a shut down part of the school.

Jeanne stared at them for one more moment… two… and turned around. Opening the door, she closed it behind her and walked away from the stair well. She had more ground to cover.

#$%^&**($%#$%#^&$#!$#%^&*()(*&^%$#!#$%^&*()(*&^%$#!#%^&*()(&^%#!#$%^&*()(*&^$##$%&*(*&^

Jeanne walked into her calculus class and headed to her seat. She placed her books on her desk, tapping her fingers as she waited. She scanned the room looking for a certain someone just in case; but knew he wouldn't be there until at least 15 minutes into the class. The time went by slowly, until—

The door opened and Hao stepped in, a smug look on his face. The teacher hardly cared about Hao's tardiness; it seemed they waved him off with barely a glance. Hao took his assigned seat next to Jeanne and plopped his head onto the desk. It was his nap time.

Jeanne was itching to confront him about what she saw. Taking out a piece of paper, Jeanne neatly wrote something down, folded it into a tiny square, and when the teacher wasn't looking—tossed it onto Hao's desk.

_I saw what you did._ Hao raised his eyebrow as he lazily read the note, glancing at Jeanne. She was looking straight ahead, seemingly paying attention to the math lesson. He asked someone for a pen, because he hardly used them for school, and scribbled on the paper. Tossing it back to Jeanne, he leaned his head on his hand and stared into the wall.

Jeanne opened the note, and their written conversation went like this:

_ You're gonna have to be a little more specific. _

_ Yesterday. In the old schools stairwell, with Lyserg. _

Hao smirked when he read this.

_ What exactly did you see? _

Jeanne huffed, her face turning red as she realized Hao won't admit to anything unless she nailed it on the head.

_I saw you and Lyserg having intercourse in the stairwell. I was patrolling the school, and noticed the door to the old school wasn't locked. Walked in, saw you two. Happy? I SAW YOU. _

Hao grinned widely and crumpled the note up, stuffing it into his pocket. He leaned over towards Jeanne, his voice low so no one else could hear but her.

"I could show you the rest of the places we did it in school."

Jeanne's eyes widened and she turned to look at Hao. He wasn't there though; the bell rang, and he was halfway out the door. She quickly got up, following the other into the hallway.

"I'm sorry, I don't believe I heard you correctly." The red eyed girl said curtly, a blank expression on her face as they walked side by side. The pair was usually never seen together unless the girl was handing him a detention-for-wandering-the-hall slip. Students walking by looked at them curiously, but shrugged it off as Jeanne giving Hao some sort of lecture. It was so weird, that Jeanne was younger than him yet seemed to be the one telling him right from wrong—though he never listened. Everyone knew that.

Hao stopped suddenly when the hall got seemingly empty, glancing at Jeanne. She looked at him, the statement she said earlier still left unanswered as she waited. The elder suddenly pushed Jeanne against the wall, his hands on either side of her face as he looked right into her eyes, a grin on his lips.

"This… was the exact place me and Lyserg first fucked." He looked up as if thinking, sticking his tongue out playfully as Jeanne pushed him away with a red face, hugging herself. "You're vulgar!"

"And you're a prude!" Hao said heartily, holding his sides as he laughed at the tomato colored girl. Jeanne huffed, crossing her arms now and giving him a 'big sister' look, her foot tapping against the cold floor. "I can't believe you… act on such impulses during SCHOOL! Of all places," She turned away from him and continued walking, leaving the teen in the hall way by himself.

Hao turned the opposite way, a satisfied grin on his face as he headed in a direction nowhere relevant to his classroom.

Hao – 1

Jeanne – 0

"And Hao? You're going the wrong way. Get to class." Jeanne glared at him from around the corner, a smile slipping onto her features in triumph.

Hao grumbled, turning his heel and heading to damn History.

Jeanne – 1

Hao – 1

a/n: LOLOL. finally updated, thanks to some pushing from my dear cousin. sorry i take so long guys, i get so demotivated sometimes. ;_;


	7. Chapter 7

**Hao's P.O.V.**

It was lunch time, and everyone was sitting at the table. And when I say 'everyone', I mean my brother and his weird –but cool—friends. Lyserg was nowhere in sight. Usually we meet up at his locker before heading to the lunchroom, but he told me one of his lame clubs was summoning everyone for a five minute meeting and not to wait for him. Who has meetings during lunch, seriously?

I was in the middle of taking a bite out of my meatball sub when I saw Lyserg walk through one of the open doors to the lunchroom, heading directly towards us. I smiled—well I tried my best with my mouth full of bread and sauce and all, and waved at him. As he got closer, my smile slowly faded because of the look on his face. His face was flushed, brows furrowed, lips pouting in the most angry I think I might have seen him. Quite cute, actually. He did not wave back.

Everyone smiled and greeted Lyserg as he got close and stopped at the end of the table, where my brother and I sat across from each other. He cut Yoh off with a raise of his hand, looking only at me.

"You _told_ her?"

Everyone was silent and confused. I was silent and confused.

"Uhh, what?"

"You told her—" Lyserg stopped, as if he suddenly realized everyone was staring at him, and slowly let himself stop clenching his fists. He tapped my shoulder hard, tugging my shirt.

"You. Come with me. Now."

I heard Horo and Chocolove snickering, murmuring something stupid like 'whipped' and 'das _yo_ boyfriend' before I stood up, following Lyserg. He led me outside of the lunchroom and down the hall a little bit in front of some lockers and stopped, turned around and stepped really, really close to me.

"So is this some kinky punishment for some—"

"Shush."

I stopped, crossed my arms and waited.

"You told Jeanne about us having sex in the school. What the fuck. You're lucky she's nice enough and didn't go around telling everyone!" He whispered harshly, looking around to make sure no one was nearby.

"Well, what had happened was—"

"Hao, what the hell? I respect her so much and just, Jesus, she knows? You went and told her? Why?"

"LOOK, Lyserg," I snapped, holding up my hands up in defense. "Maybe she didn't tell you the whole story. This isn't entirely my fault. She found us and approached me about it, okay? It's not like I flat out went to her and told her for shits and giggles."

He seemed to think on this for a moment, swinging his backpack to the other shoulder.

"I guess, _but you didn't have to tell her about all the god damn places we did it_."

At that I had to laugh, because damn if the look on her face when I told her wasn't hysterical.

Shrugging, I walked passed him and back towards the lunchroom. "Well you can't help it, Lyserg, you're just a sexual little deviant."

"Hao, I'm serious! She knows, she knows! God, I can't believe she knows." I heard him sigh drastically right behind me, following me back to the lunchroom. We got back to the table and everyone grew silent as we sat. I looked up and glared at everyone, picking up my meatball sandwich gone cold.

"Problem?" I asked, chomping down as they all shook their head and went back to their food.

Lyserg basically forgave me later on that day, because whenever we saw each other in the hallways or whatever, he'd give me the cutest smiles or waves. He had a lot of stupid friends that I hated, most of them from his annoying book clubs and other afterschool things he did (when he wasn't spending his time with me). So I left him alone when I saw him with a lot of them. I'm pretty sure they all hated me anyways, probably for 'defiling their little lyserg' or 'he's just a delinquent, he won't get anywhere in his life', etc etc. Fuck them.

Despite him being a little brat that follows all the rules, he seems to have a lot of friends. Whereas I only have a couple of good ones. People have tried becoming my friend, but I have a tough trial and if you don't pass, you are dropped like a positive pregnancy test. I don't see the point in having useless friends. Friends just to stand with and not look lonely. After high school, do any of them really give a shit about you? No. Do any one of those assholes that treated you like shit's opinions really matter? No. I only like to surround myself with genius.

Except when some of Yoh's friends are around me.

23145676543425

Uhhh hiiii. Lol. You can all throw acid on my head, I totally understand. I'm a terrible terrible author for doing this. Though if any of you are actually here… praise you. Praise your kind soul. Reviewifyoustillgiveashit! :D


End file.
